Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Office romance: a recipe for disaster

We clicked our tongues in deep shock when we found out how a woman had unceremoniously killed the child of her married lover (also her co- worker) in a fit of rage, just to get revenge.

A couple of months ago, a top-level employee in a leading publishing house made headlines for his controversial relationship with a co-worker. Both of the above instances are classic examples of office romance, gone horribly wrong.

Given the large number of hours we spend in our office, it is not surprising that many people today look within the cubicles of their office for potential partners. In fact, if the results of a recent survey are to be believed, 25 per cent of workers who started an office relationship, ended up getting married to their partners. The same survey also suggested that about 41 per cent of employees think that an office romance can jeopardise their career.

So is it love actually, or mere fatal attraction? "It is not just the physical attraction, but an emotional bond that brings two individuals together at the workplace," says Ritesh K, a software engineer. "The girl I dated in my previous office, was more than just a pretty thing. We bonded over a common love for movies and eventually found that we shared a lot of other interests too. But, somehow, it never worked out and things got so awkward that I finally quit," he says poignantly.

The bigger problem regarding romance in the workplace may be what appears to be a growing trend — relationships that are blossoming among employees who are married to someone else. "I fell in love with a married man who I worked with and it was disastrous," admits Reshma, a designer and single mother. "Even though I knew I was being foolish, I couldn't help but continue the relationship. Eventually, I had to be treated for severe depression and I put in my papers".

In some cases, however, it doesn't merely end with one of the two involved quitting the present workplace. "Even if one of them happens to be in a powerful position in the organisation, the partner will make full use of the opportunity to cash in on the courtship and climb the ranks," opines Sheriff Ansari, a HR manager. And most often, it is the men in powerful positions who face the music. "Even when the relationship ends, these men would be forced to agree to the terms posed by their ex, primarily to hush up the whole affair," he adds.

Women, it seems, have it easier. "It is a tad easier for women to play victim," observes Mridula Shankar, a merchandiser, "I have seen many of my friends getting sympathy and attention this way." The bottomline is, there is nothing fundamentally wrong with seeing someone from your workplace. However, remember that you will be playing with fire. Be cautious and try to maintain professionalism and integrity. You never know when things will spin out of control.

Picking up the pieces :

- Keep your dignity intact and keep it as professional as possible.
- Stay discreet. Don't further add to the gossip circulating on your floor about why your relationship didn't work out.
- Release some of the anger. Delete e-mails, phone numbers and text messages or just chuck pebbles into the sea — whatever gives your anger a physical form.
- Worst case scenario — quit your job and start afresh elsewhere. Change is always good.
- Forgo revenge. Thrashing his/her computer or causing him/her physical harm might seem extremely appealing, but it is up to you to be the better person. Don't stoop down to such levels.
- If you are unable to cope with the depression, visit your therapist before you do something drastic.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Internet Abbreviations

LMAO =» Laughing My As* Off
LOL =» Laughing Out Loud
AFAIK =» As Far As I Know
AFK =» Away From Keyboard
ASAP =» As Soon As Possible
BAS =» Big A$$ Smile
BBL =» Be Back Later
BBN =» Bye Bye Now
BBS =» Be Back Soon
BEG =» Big Evil Grin
BF =» Boyfriend
BIBO =» Beer In, Beer Out
BRB =» Be Right Back
BTW =» By The Way
BWL =» Bursting With Laughter
C&G =» Chuckle and Grin
CICO =» Coffee In, Coffee Out
CID =» Crying In Disgrace
CNP =» Continued (in my) Next Post
CP =» Chat Post(a chat message)
CRBT =» Crying Real Big Tears
CSG =» Chuckle Snicker Grin
CYA =» See You (Seeya)
CYAL8R =» See You Later (Seeyalata)
DLTBBB =» Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite
EG =» Evil Grin
EMSG =» Email Message
FC =» Fingers Crossed
FTBOMH =» From The Bottom Of My Heart
FYI =» For Your Information
FWIW =» For What It's Worth
GAL =» Get A Life
GF =» Girlfriend
GFN =» Gone For Now
GMBA =» Giggling My Butt Off
GMTA =» Great Minds Think Alike
GTSY =» Glad To See You
H&K =» Hug and Kiss
HABU =» Have A Better 'Un
HAGN =» Have A Good Night
HAGU =» Have A Good 'Un
HHIS =» Hanging Head in Shame
HUB =» Head Up Butt
IAE =» In Any Event
IC =» I See
IGP =» I Gotta Pee
IMNSHO =» In My Not So Humble Opinion
IMO =» In My Opinion
IMCO =» In My Considered Opinion
IMHO =» In My Humble Opinion
IOW =» In Other Words
IRL =» In Real Life
IWALU =» I Will Always Love You
JMO =» Just My Opinion
JTLYK =» Just To Let You Know
KIT =» Keep In Touch
KOC =» Kiss On Cheek
KOL =» Kiss On Lips
L8R =» Later
L8R G8R =» Later 'Gater
LHM =» Lord Help Me
LHO =» Laughing Head Off
LHU =» Lord Help Us
LMAO =» Laughing My A$$ Off
LMSO =» Laughing My Socks Off
LOL =» Laugh Out Loud
LSHMBB =» Laughing So Hard My Belly is Bouncing
LSHMBH =» Laughing So Hard My Belly Hurts
LSHTTARDML =» Laughing So Hard The Tears Are Running Down My Leg
LTNS =» Long Time No See
LTS =» Laughing To Self
LUWAMH =» Love You With All My Heart
LY =» Love Ya
MTF =» More To Follow
NRN =» No Reply Necessary
NADT =» Not A Darn Thing
OIC =» Oh, I See
OL =» Old Lady (significant other)
OM =» Old Man (significant other)
OTOH =» On The Other Hand
OTTOMH =» Off The Top of My Head
PDS =» Please Don't Shoot
PITA =» Pain In The A$$
PM =» Private Message
PMFJI =» Pardon Me For Jumping In
PMP =» Peed My Pants
POAHF =» Put On A Happy Face
QSL =» Reply
QSO =» Conversation
QT =» Cutie
ROFL =» Rolling On Floor Laughing
ROFLAPMP =» ROFL And Peeing My Pants
ROFLUTSROFL =» Unable to Speak
RTFM =» Read The F****** Manual!
SETE =» Smiling Ear To Ear
SHID =» Slaps Head In Disgust
SNERT =» Snot-Nosed Egotistical Rude Teenager
SO =» Significant Other
SOT =» Short Of Time
SOTMG =» Short Of Time Must Go
SWAK =» Sealed With A Kiss
SWAS =» Scientific Wild A$$ Guess
SWL =» Screaming with Laughter
SYS =» See You Soon
TA =» Thanks Again
TGIF =» Thank God It's Friday
TCOY =» Take Care Of Yourself
TILII =» Tell It Like It Is
TNT =» Till Next Time
TOY =» Thinking Of You
TTFN =» Ta Ta For Now
TTYL =» Talk To You Later
WAS =» Wild A$$ Guess
WB =» Welcome Back
WTH =» What/Who The Heck (or sub an 'F' for the 'H')
YBS =» You'll Be Sorry
YG =» Young Gentleman
YL =» Young Lady
YM =» Young Man

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Suffering is glorious

It may sound weird, but at times suffering has its purifying and sublime effects on our psyche and behavior and brings more sobriety and maturity. Suffering has self-healing and self-correcting effect which enriches and lends resilience.

More often than not we are crestfallen at tragedies such as untimely bereavements in the family, or when one is afflicted with a life threatening disease or meets with an accident or loses a job etc. Such occurrences plunge us into despondency and depression.

It requires fortitude and forbearance to overcome such tragedies. It is easier to counsel others, but very difficult to emerge out of such traumas. But life has to go on as Shakespeare said all the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players. One can get solace in the filtered wisdom of seers and saints that “what cannot be cured must be endured“. At times one is driven to selfdestruction out of deep dejec tion. Should one take away life, the greatest gift of God?

Even suffering has its brighter side for its helps develop empathy for fellow sufferers. We often do not know how others live. We are least concerned how others live for we do not experience the same trauma and to some degree and depth.

Empathy is very important in human life. Some times under the influence of power, position, name and fame people tend to loose touch with the ground reality Suffering thus sheds one's false sense of arrogance and vanity, and brings sanity.

During bad times, perhap surrender to the Almighty could be an option. This is n escapism, but a realistic approach. A communion wit God unburdens you and liberates you. He is the ultimate arbiter, his invisible hand takes us on the right trajectory. It is difficult to unravel the mystery of his design, suffice to say his acts are aimed at deliverance.

Monday, March 14, 2011

भूल गए हैं की जूते कहाँ उतारे थे

छोटी-छोटी छितराई यादें बिछी हुई हैं लम्हों की लॉन पर.
नंगे पैर उनपर चलते-चलते इतनी दूर चले आये
की अब भूल गए हैं – जूते कहाँ उतारे थे.

एडी कोमल थी, जब आये थे थोड़ी  सी  नाज़ुक  है  अभी  भी .
और  नाज़ुक  ही  रहेगी इन  खट्टी -मीठी  यादों  की  शरारत
जब  तक  इन्हें  गुदगुदाती  रहे .

सच , भूल  गए  हैं की  जूते  कहाँ  उतारे  थे .
पर  लगता  है ,अब  उनकी  ज़रुरत  नहीं

जो लहरों से आगे नज़र देख पाती

जो लहरों  से  आगे  नज़र  देख  पाती  तोह  तुम  जान  लेते  में  क्या  सोचता  हूँ ,
वो  आवाज़  तुमको  भी  जो  भेद  जाती  तोह  तुम  जान  लेते  में  क्या  सोचता  हूँ .
जिद  का  तुम्हारे  जो  पर्दा  सरकता  तोह  खिडकियों  से  आगे  भी  तुम  देख  पाते ,
आँखों  से  आदतों  की  जो  पलकें  हटाते  तोह  तुम  जान  लेते  में  क्या  सोचता  हूँ .

मेरी  तरह  खुद  पर  होता  ज़रा  भरोसा  तोह  कुछ  दूर  तुम  भी  साथ -साथ  आते ,
रंग  मेरी  आँखों  का  बाँटते  ज़रा  सा  तोह  कुछ  दूर  तुम  भी  साथ -साथ  आते ,
नशा  आसमान  का  जो  चूमता  तुम्हे  भी , हसरतें  तुम्हारी  नया  जन्म  पातीं ,
खुद  दुसरे  जनम  में  मेरी  उड़ान  छूने  कुछ  दूर  तुम  भी  साथ -साथ  आते

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The truth of reality

As someone had said so beautifully, the purpose of life is a life of purpose. Are we honest enough to realise this?

The reality is, pardon the pun, we are not aware of the truth of reality. No wonder, we keep on wondering and cursing others and our own fate for our problems.

That is how and why we keep on receiving debilitating knocks in life ­ the price we pay for our careless attitude over the seriousness of life and its purpose. No use we rue our misfortune of having fallen in deep trouble.

In the words of M. Scott Peck, author of spiritual growth books, one can never have peace of mind and spiritual progress until one is dedicated to the truth. 

One must realize that truth alone is the reality; and reality alone is the foundation for progress in life's journey.

One who can face the reality has a different and positive vision of life and the world.

For such a person, the painful negotiations in life become a joy-ride. Seeing and accepting the realities of life is like going on a journey with a perfect map that takes you across to your destination with ease. But a life full of illusions is like going around with a wrong kind of map that keeps your destination elusive forever.

Most of us choose to ignore the realities of life because of our “escapist“ attitude. We don't realize that we can never escape from the reality.

Life, as someone wrote to me last week, is a great journey, but it does not come with a map. One has to work out a flawless map and adhere to it.

And then, as you go along the track of life, the world changes with great rapidity and that makes your `map' redundant.

You will need to redraw the map that conforms to the worldly reality. Or else, the reality will elude you and your mission in life will remain woefully unfulfilled. And hence a great chance of having a triumphant exit will be lost!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Secrets to a long-lasting relationships

Here are six secrets to a long-lasting relationship. 

Yes, relationships do last for years. Are you wondering how? How is it that two people are together, are true to each other and are in love for decades? Here are a few tips...

1.) Be honest, always. This is a basic need for any relationship to survive. You just have to trust your partner and let him/her believe that they can trust you.

2.) Accept your partner as he/she is. Yes no one is perfect. Some of us are sloppy. Some of us are perpetually late, some are just too obsessive compulsive about things. You should just accept the person for who they are.

3.) When you are wrong, admit it. Arguing that you are always right is not right at all. Be brave enough to admit you are not.

4.) Talk about your problems to your partner. Sit down with your partner and talk about anything that is bothering you. This will strengthen your relationship and bring you together.

5.) Be independently happy. Of course you love him/her. But you should not rely on your partner always for everything.

6.) Choose your arguments wisely. Yes, this holds in every relationship. Words can really hurt people and you should be very careful when you are arguing

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Failure opens up many routes towards victory

I often wonder how failure shatters us and how much we panic even though we have been programmed for it right from our toddler days.

Remember how we learnt walking and cycling and falling several times on way to learning. We were made to believe that winning means applause, bursting of crackers and media hype; while losers get the boots.

Our scriptures and mythological tales also suggest that messengers of God had to experience failure at the hands of demons before truth could conquer evil.

Adam had to deal with his own failings while still protecting and caring for his family. Failure in life is no doubt feels most unfortunate, but equally unfortunate are our interpretations.

Failure is not an undertaker but a message to explore new routes to achieve our goal and gives strength to withstand crisis, innumerable pressures and frustrations which are the baggage of failure. Didn't Greek author Plutarch opine, “What we achieve inwardly will change the outer reality“.

The power of failure is not only a law of life but a great teacher, advising us how to tread the right path ahead. It is a vital component of the growing-up process and a baptism of fire that fuels our inner urge to perform or perish. It turns failure into success and makes one humble, patient and hopeful. It teaches mantras of tolerance, resolution and calmness.

Failure is caused when we grow with a directionless mind-set, lack staying power and will to perform, lose selffaith and self-impetus.

General George Patton said, “I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits the bottom“.

Failure is a hope that “every cloud has a silver lining“ and brings us close to realise the feelings of thousands who fail every now and then simply to succeed ultimately. As Edison said a century ago, “I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.“ Don't we need to learn lessons from history's great men and women who, having failed initially, rose up to conquer?