Saturday, April 30, 2011

तेरी खु़शबू मैं बसे ख़त

तेरी खु़शबू मैं बसे ख़त मैं जलाता कैसे
प्यार मैं डूबे हुए ख़त मैं जलाता कैसे
तेरे हाथों के लिखे ख़त मैं जलाता कैसे
जिनको दुनिया की निगाहों से छुपाये रख़ा
जिनको एक उम्र कलेजे से लगाये रख़ा
दीन जिनको जिन्हें इमान बनाये रखा
तेरे खुशबू मैं बसे ख़त मैं जलाता कैसे
प्यार मैं डूबे हुए ख़त मैं जलाता कैसे

जिनका हर लफ्ज़ मुझे याद है पानी की तरह
याद थे मुझको जो पैग़ाम-ए-जुबानी की तरह
मुझको प्यारे थे जो अनमोल निशानी की तरह
तेरे खुशबू मैं बसे ख़त मैं जलाता कैसे
प्यार मैं डूबे हुए ख़त मैं जलाता कैसे

तूने दुनिया की निगाहों से जो बचकर लिखी
साल हा साल मेरे नाम बराबर लिखी
कभी दिन मैं तो कभी रात को उठकर लिखी
तेरे खुशबू मैं बसे ख़त मैं जलाता कैसे
प्यार मैं डूबे हुए ख़त मैं जलाता कैसे
तेरे हाथों के लिखे ख़त मैं जलाता कैसे
तेरे ख़त आज मैं गंगा मैं बहा आया हूँ
आग बहते हुए पानी मैं लगा आया हूँ

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

In a relationship, married or not... YOU SHOULD READ THIS!

MARRIAGE   When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.   Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let ...her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?   I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!   With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.   The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.   When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.   In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.   This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.   I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.   My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.   On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.   On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.   She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.   Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.   Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.   But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.   She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.   At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.   That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....   The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!   If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.   If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.See more

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The curse of anger

Anger blinds us and we see what is not. It disables our ability to judge correctly and we do things for which we repent a lifetime.

The Buddha says: “Slay anger and you will be happy/ With anger slain, one weeps no more.“ An angry man is an ugly man with peace and happiness miles away. Despite all the comforts he may have, he can't sleep; despite his wealth, he is poor. Filled with anger, he hurts others by acts of body and speech.

Each one of us tends to get angry over the slightest issue or irritant. Some one has hurt you or your near and dear ones. Someone has caused you or your dear ones material loss.

Someone has not behaved well with you or your near and dear ones. And you get furious and do things only a mad person can do.

True, all of us don't react in anger and make a counterattack. The more sensible of us would like to “pass off“ such cases as not our problem, but the problem of the person causing it. One must change the way of looking at such incidents and convince one's self that the other person is in trouble and needs your love, not hatred. One must adopt a philosophy of life that is based on Brownian thought, “Good to forgive, best to forget.“

And who had said that you have to be “little“ to be “belittled.“ How true! If you try to rise above the “base feelings“, you would be at a level no mud can reach you. No insult or harm can come your way.

Remember, the good and the noble will not harm you, and the rest are already “too belittled.“

Plato had said in beautiful words, “He who commits injustice is ever made more wretched than he who suffers it.“

In other words, it is all in our hands to keep ourselves free of the brute and the insane.

Only you, and not any other, can be your deadliest enemy if you fail to control your senses.

The enemy lurks within; you must be sensible enough to tame it.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Be Yourself .... Always

It can strike anyone, anytime, anywhere. Each one of us has been a victim of depression and rejection at some point or the other. The cycle of actions and reactions of each individual depends upon his/her own vision of life.

In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.

There is a beautiful story of a boy who traveled far to study under a great teacher. On meeting the wise man, his first question was, “how long will it take to become as wise as you are?“ The response came swiftly, “Five years.“

“That is a very long time,“ the boy said. “How about if I work twice as hard?“ “Then it will take 10“, said the master.

“Ten! That is far too long.

How about if I study all day and well into the night, every night?“ “Fifteen years“, said the sage.

“I don't understand,“ replied the boy. “Every time I promise to work harder, you say it will take longer. Why?“ “The answer is simple,“ advised the sage, “with one eye fixed on the destination, there is only one left to guide you along the journey.“

Patience, hard work and sincerity are the virtues that should guide us on all aspects of life. Take it easy on yourself.

Believe in the fact that you are special. You are God's creation, sent on this Earth with a purpose. Venture out with a zest for life and promise yourself a life of happiness.

Take out time to admire the beauty of nature like the sunrise, inhale the divine scent of the beautiful flowers. Plan an adventure trip you have always dreamt of. Hug your grandparents and sit with them and talk to them. And think positive, always. That will guide you in making small, daily improvements which over time will lead to big results. And happiness will be yours. As Oscar Wilde put it beautifully, “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken!“

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Burden of Care

We are all dogged by troubles because we care. If we don't care, our troubles will disap` pear and we would see reason to say that life is beautiful and enjoyable. But the word care does not mean the care to love,  I respect and protect others. It means `care to not care' for the problems that cause our miseries. Why care for such a care?
This is a key teaching of all religions. This has a vital part of Buddha's philosophy in particular. For instance, why care and kill our happiness when we're not going to get a particular thing? It is in this sense that one has to be careless about care.

Buddha says the destruction of care and troubles is possible only if one knows and cares to see and reflect wisely at suffering and its causes as well as its cessation. There are other ways too on how to get rid of cares and troubles -by restraint, by `use', by endurance, by avoidance, by dispersal and by culture.

Restraint involves contro over mind and sense organs One who has such restraint, i following the right path. By use', we mean the use of thing like clothes, food and shelte that do not add to our osten tatious living and but keeps u n perfect and good sense.

The next is endurance which helps one put up with all kind of troubles like cold and heat hunger and thirst or any othe body or mental pain.

One who has this quality pain is no pain and distress and pleasure is one and the same thing. Similarly, avoidance a a way of life of things that are not noble and useful keeps one away from going astray.

The dispersal method involves rejection of harmfu action and thought.

And, lastly, the most inter esting one is the culture method. One has to cultivate mindfulness, energy, joy, calm ness, concentration and equa nimity -all factors of enlight enment. Only then one can hope to be in bliss.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Love with detachment

Most of the people I know believe that there can't be any love without attachment. Yes, to some extent that is true if we have to interact with others. For most of us, real love does not exist as normally it is full of selfish motives. Maybe, attachment can also be categorized in three ways. Sattvic attachment is that which is devoid of selfish motive, like that of mother for her child.

Rajasik contains self-interest but is harmless for others but can turn into hate if the person does not act according to one's will. Tamsic is attachment is lust, infatuation, greed and craving for something at the cost of others.

The essence of life is that there is no harm in getting attached but one must be prepared to get detached at a moment's notice. The secret of life is to remain attached outwardly but be detached inwardly like a father playing snake and ladder with his son.

Both are about to win but father shows agitation outside but is cool from inside.

Rama left Ayodhya within 12 hours without a second thought and never looked back, Krishna was supposed to be very much attached with the Gopis of Vrandavan but once he left Vrandavan, he never went there again.

This reminds me of two instances. A man's son had gone abroad and was to return for a short holiday with his wife and child after five years. The man was very excited. When his son with family came out, the son told him that they have decided to go to his in-law's place in Gurgaon since the house there is more comfortable. The man was shocked and went back home and had a heart attack. That is attachment.

On the contrary, one fine morning a retired man's son informed him that he got married and is leaving for the States for a few years. The parents sent them all the blessings and told him that they were always available to him and he could always come back to them in the hour of need.

That is love with detachment.