Friday, January 7, 2011

How To Make Your Bond Stronger.....Few Tips

When starting from scratch about breakups in marriage and what causes it, a great number of people might term rate incompatibility as highest. But one among the many reasons is also the lack of emotional satisfaction especially in the husband. It’s not the battle of the sexes and yes, we’re breaking the myth that men (not a sex maniac) just needs physically satisfaction. It’s true, women of late, tend to not know how to satisfy their husbands emotionally. One might need to pause a bit and rethink on certain points that they might tend to ignore, thanks to their busy lives.

    Well, magazines, relationship articles and any close friend cum agony aunt might have told you this a zillion times, and we second them all; understanding is the key to any relationship. Psychologist Anjali Chhabria, says “Men are normally people of fewer words. So learn to understand what they don’t say.” Marriage is more than just what our ancestors said, the sacred institution between two people. You need to understand your man. He just might be the most confident person on the outside, but extremely insecure from inside. Try knowing him and make him feel that you do care about him.

    Men might portray they are content with it all, but they do need emotional satisfaction like any other human being. Men even might tag a woman as the gossip-queen, the chatterbox, but well, they are not any less themselves. It makes them feel important if their wife listens to the little things they have to say. Psychologist Chandni Mehta says, “Emotional stimulation is extremely important for one to be interested in any relationship. Bond with your husband on issues like discussing his friends, family, expectations, etc. When he feels the need for an ego kick, sort it out by easing him into a conversation. Never ever put him on a pedestal or judge him cutright as then he just won’t connect. Even if you are not all comfortable about certain things he says, just lend him a ear. Sensitivity is important. You may be shocked to know this, but at times, men prefer sensitive conversation to sex.”

    Like Chhabria says, the difference between the two genders is that, men need sex for love and woman need love for sex. The physical aspect is very important and that's what makes a marriage different from all relationships. Well, like we all know, when one has indulged in getting physically with someone, the emotional aspect plays subconsciously. Make your husband feel that you are happy and satisfied with him physically.

    Portray yourself like you are. Psychologist Varkha Chulani says, “Authenticity is the first bond of emotional connection. If he sees you naked physically, he should also be able to see you naked emotionally. The climate of trust is built on the transparency of a relationship. There should be no manipulation or game play involved.”

    It is important that he shares his thoughts with you. But don’t nag him to know everything about his life. Like Mehta says never set rules. Men don’t like to be instructed especially by his wife. Well, his way is not always the wrong way. “He doesn't need a ‘Miss Know It All’ who keeps criticising him constantly,” says Chhabria. And yes, there are other roles he might be playing, that of a son, a friend and a brother. You don’t need to track him down 24*7.

    Relationships are meant to be mutually beneficial. Chulani chalks this out by saying that he should be able to believe that being with you will enhance him as a person. The more self-enhanced he feels in your presence, the more emotionally will he connect with you. He will be in an emotionally better place only if you make him feel a better self.
With all this, you should remember that we’re talking about keeping your husband emotionally satisfied. But then, it’s not just about setting aside your life and solely prioritising his aspirations and interests. It’s also about balancing it out in the right way so as to make yours more than just a ‘Happy Beginning’.

No comments:

Post a Comment