Wednesday, August 3, 2011

I've been living a lie!!

I know You think I'm crazy when I open the floodgates to my mind to the world.I heard what you said when I left something precious for something I believed in.Perhaps, the feeling that I've been living a lie is the creepiest I've been through. I thought I was an integral part of something and then it dawned I was not. I was just living a Lie. How could I be so stupid? 

Naah you're not the only one, every one has a fair share of stupidity  to contribute to the world.

I thought that I am cared for but again the truth didn't betray me for long.I somehow know I've been looking for happiness outside and that is when I stopped looking inwards.Trust me nothing is more stressful for a human than when their goals are tied to the approval of others.I seem brave enough to be free to you but somewhere deep inside I know I'm tied too. In Distrust I trust.

Let's not bullshit each other.Do you think I bought everything just because I loved it, half-true.I wanted the stuff that will be "a huge middle finger to each one of you."

I have started living in a world where most feedback I get is bullshit. The compliments mean nothing--the happiness they used to bring, that's just a passe to me. I don't know why but these days I tend to dismiss the genuine compliments I get in all the areas (work, personality, sense of humor, creativity) because it has started getting lumped in with the same counterfeit flattery I've been getting through.

The sound of a song I have known for years, flooded the emotional gates.A burst of emotion and tears left the gates of my eyes. 

I know you would hate me after you get a taste of my truth. But isn't it somewhat yours too?

You're similar to me, and hopefully we'll both eventually learn that everyone has a sad story to tell, despite how two-dimensionally stupid or sadistic others may seem. Like they say, life is suffering.

If you're hurt after getting a bitter taste of my truth,I'd not tell you how genuinely sorry I'm for being the awful Me and will be the better Me I'd ever love to be.

Not because I'm too arrogant to be sorry. Because, I have just realized that how badly I've been wounded all this while living a lie.

For now, I'd sign off from here and will take charge of my life with the only truth I figured out for myself~

Happiness comes from nothing, so think of nothing to bring you happiness.

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