We clicked our tongues in deep shock when we found out how a woman had unceremoniously killed the child of her married lover (also her co- worker) in a fit of rage, just to get revenge.
A couple of months ago, a top-level employee in a leading publishing house made headlines for his controversial relationship with a co-worker. Both of the above instances are classic examples of office romance, gone horribly wrong.
Given the large number of hours we spend in our office, it is not surprising that many people today look within the cubicles of their office for potential partners. In fact, if the results of a recent survey are to be believed, 25 per cent of workers who started an office relationship, ended up getting married to their partners. The same survey also suggested that about 41 per cent of employees think that an office romance can jeopardise their career.
So is it love actually, or mere fatal attraction? "It is not just the physical attraction, but an emotional bond that brings two individuals together at the workplace," says Ritesh K, a software engineer. "The girl I dated in my previous office, was more than just a pretty thing. We bonded over a common love for movies and eventually found that we shared a lot of other interests too. But, somehow, it never worked out and things got so awkward that I finally quit," he says poignantly.
The bigger problem regarding romance in the workplace may be what appears to be a growing trend — relationships that are blossoming among employees who are married to someone else. "I fell in love with a married man who I worked with and it was disastrous," admits Reshma, a designer and single mother. "Even though I knew I was being foolish, I couldn't help but continue the relationship. Eventually, I had to be treated for severe depression and I put in my papers".
In some cases, however, it doesn't merely end with one of the two involved quitting the present workplace. "Even if one of them happens to be in a powerful position in the organisation, the partner will make full use of the opportunity to cash in on the courtship and climb the ranks," opines Sheriff Ansari, a HR manager. And most often, it is the men in powerful positions who face the music. "Even when the relationship ends, these men would be forced to agree to the terms posed by their ex, primarily to hush up the whole affair," he adds.
Women, it seems, have it easier. "It is a tad easier for women to play victim," observes Mridula Shankar, a merchandiser, "I have seen many of my friends getting sympathy and attention this way." The bottomline is, there is nothing fundamentally wrong with seeing someone from your workplace. However, remember that you will be playing with fire. Be cautious and try to maintain professionalism and integrity. You never know when things will spin out of control.
Picking up the pieces :
- Keep your dignity intact and keep it as professional as possible.
- Stay discreet. Don't further add to the gossip circulating on your floor about why your relationship didn't work out.
- Release some of the anger. Delete e-mails, phone numbers and text messages or just chuck pebbles into the sea — whatever gives your anger a physical form.
- Worst case scenario — quit your job and start afresh elsewhere. Change is always good.
- Forgo revenge. Thrashing his/her computer or causing him/her physical harm might seem extremely appealing, but it is up to you to be the better person. Don't stoop down to such levels.
- If you are unable to cope with the depression, visit your therapist before you do something drastic.
A couple of months ago, a top-level employee in a leading publishing house made headlines for his controversial relationship with a co-worker. Both of the above instances are classic examples of office romance, gone horribly wrong.
Given the large number of hours we spend in our office, it is not surprising that many people today look within the cubicles of their office for potential partners. In fact, if the results of a recent survey are to be believed, 25 per cent of workers who started an office relationship, ended up getting married to their partners. The same survey also suggested that about 41 per cent of employees think that an office romance can jeopardise their career.
So is it love actually, or mere fatal attraction? "It is not just the physical attraction, but an emotional bond that brings two individuals together at the workplace," says Ritesh K, a software engineer. "The girl I dated in my previous office, was more than just a pretty thing. We bonded over a common love for movies and eventually found that we shared a lot of other interests too. But, somehow, it never worked out and things got so awkward that I finally quit," he says poignantly.
The bigger problem regarding romance in the workplace may be what appears to be a growing trend — relationships that are blossoming among employees who are married to someone else. "I fell in love with a married man who I worked with and it was disastrous," admits Reshma, a designer and single mother. "Even though I knew I was being foolish, I couldn't help but continue the relationship. Eventually, I had to be treated for severe depression and I put in my papers".
In some cases, however, it doesn't merely end with one of the two involved quitting the present workplace. "Even if one of them happens to be in a powerful position in the organisation, the partner will make full use of the opportunity to cash in on the courtship and climb the ranks," opines Sheriff Ansari, a HR manager. And most often, it is the men in powerful positions who face the music. "Even when the relationship ends, these men would be forced to agree to the terms posed by their ex, primarily to hush up the whole affair," he adds.
Women, it seems, have it easier. "It is a tad easier for women to play victim," observes Mridula Shankar, a merchandiser, "I have seen many of my friends getting sympathy and attention this way." The bottomline is, there is nothing fundamentally wrong with seeing someone from your workplace. However, remember that you will be playing with fire. Be cautious and try to maintain professionalism and integrity. You never know when things will spin out of control.
Picking up the pieces :
- Keep your dignity intact and keep it as professional as possible.
- Stay discreet. Don't further add to the gossip circulating on your floor about why your relationship didn't work out.
- Release some of the anger. Delete e-mails, phone numbers and text messages or just chuck pebbles into the sea — whatever gives your anger a physical form.
- Worst case scenario — quit your job and start afresh elsewhere. Change is always good.
- Forgo revenge. Thrashing his/her computer or causing him/her physical harm might seem extremely appealing, but it is up to you to be the better person. Don't stoop down to such levels.
- If you are unable to cope with the depression, visit your therapist before you do something drastic.
